Philanthropy’s ROI is unearned prestige.

Photo by Lux Charters on Unsplash‍

This aphorism was inspired by the news that Rod Drury maybe a sleaze. Whether this turns out to be true or not, I leave for the courts and time. It reminded me of an exchange Grace Marks had with Jack Tame in my first novel (still unpublished!).

Tame: ‘What about the counter claim that many of the individuals identified are leading contributors to charities, giving their time and money.’

Grace leaned closer. ‘It’s an appealing claim but, if you look closer, it’s clever misdirection. It’s what magicians do. Don’t look at my right hand, don’t look at how little tax I pay. Look at my left hand, look how philanthropic I am.’

Tame’s face was serious but he didn’t interrupt.

‘Tell me Jack, why don’t you give tens of thousands to charity and spend your days working for free?’

Giving a small shrug, he said, ‘I don’t have tens of thousands to give away. And between work, spending time with my partner and sleep, there’s not much time left.’

‘You’re in with the vast majority,’ she said. ‘To give away thousands you need millions. And to give your time away, you need time to give. That’s the first problem. The size of an individual’s philanthropic deeds is a function of wealth, not of generosity.’

Tame nodded seriously.

Grace continued. ‘Then, if you don’t pay your fair share of tax, you have a pile of money you shouldn’t have. In effect, they’re donating money on behalf of Inland Revenue.’

Grinning, Tame said, ‘Yes, I suppose they are.’

‘Lastly,’ said Grace, ‘in our what’s-in-it-for-me society, individuals investing in philanthropy expect a return.’

Tame tilted his head. ‘Do they?’

‘Not a financial return,’ she said. ‘They get legitimacy, respect, an ego boost, new year’s honours, free tickets, their names on public buildings, junkets as “ornamental directors” on boards, corporate boxes, red carpet appearances, a chance to rub shoulders with real celebrities where they can wear their expensive clothes and jewellery, their picture in paper and, if they have a conscience, the chance to ease their guilt.’

Tame raised his eyebrows. ‘That’s three strikes.’

‘It’s out of here,’ said Grace.